Love This Face

Humbled...

At this moment my oldest daughter is humbling me.

At nap time Ella was playing in her room. When I went to put her down for a nap I found her already in bed. All she needed for her nap were the curtains closed and her sound machine on. I immediately imagined myself posting on facebook how easy she went down for a nap.

Boosting really.

Let the humbling begin.

When Ella saw me close the curtains and turn on her sound machine she jumped out of bed and ran into the kitchen. I had to chase her down to get her into bed and have now spent the past hour and half walking her back to bed.

While I write this I am listening to her singing in her room.

I am very humbled. Her door just opened again.

Leaping

It's been said time and time again that there are many lessons to learn from kids. Kids have a unique way taking on life without fear (at least not the kind of fear adults have) or worry. Ella doesn't have to fear where her next meal comes from or worry about new shoes or pants when she hits the latest growth spurt. She fully enjoys life and lives each minute she is awake to the fullest (this is no exaggeration. So long as the child is awake she is moving and moving fast. I hope Vivian is calmer and more relaxed).

Since Ella was really little she has been fearless. New situations or people did not scare her. When she was scared of some thing it was weird and out of character. She would jump into new situations and open arms if provided with little thought of anything bad happening to her. This is where the lesson from Ella came.

I am amazed at how trusting she is. She never worries that I won't catch her when she jumps out of bed into my arms or that my hand won't stop her from falling as she flings herself down the stairs. She trusts that as long as I am standing in front of her or have her hand she is safe. This is how my stance towards God should be. He is far more steady and loving then me and yet there are times when I don't trust Him and worry about something unnecessarily.

Two Sundays ago one of my pastors, Adam, preached on Matthew 6:25-34 from the Sermon on the Mount. It was a great message. One that I needed to hear. It is all about worrying. Worrying can be a very time consuming activity and is one that Adam pointed out does not do much to help any situation. He made a distinction between concern and worry that made this passage clearer to me then it had been before. We can have concern about our lives, children, finances, spouses, jobs, etc. Concern is different from worry in that it does not keep us up at night imagining what could have happened. I liked this distinction. It helped me see places in my life where worry was setting in.

When I quit my job to stay home with Ella many people asked how we would "make it." I didn't know exactly how we would make it financially without my pay check I just knew that God would provide and we would be fine. God has provided over and over again in this past year. We have money in savings, we have never missed a bill, our cupboards have food in them, and we have still been able to go out and do plenty of fun things. When I would feel worry begin to creep in over money I would look back at how God has provided and trust that we will be able to pay our bills. Somehow this has been an area where worry has not had a big foothold. When Adam was preaching I began to really look at where I could be allowing worry to come into my life and found a place.

If I am honest I will admit that the hardest part about quitting my job was not finances, it was when I will go back to work and how far behind I will be in the field of teaching. It could be many years until I work again. The last time I was applying for jobs it took me two years to get my position in Hockinson. I worry that it will take that long again or about my teaching practice being out dated by the time I do return to the classroom. These are things that could and some times do consume me.

Adam's message is very timely. Tomorrow is the first day of school at Hockinson. Had I returned to work it would be my first day of school. With Ben going back to school and all my teacher friends heading back, I am constantly reminded about how I am not teaching and worry is trying to consume me. I am fighting against this worry by remembering Adam's message and watching my fearless child.

Vivian Lane

Much has happened in the six weeks since I last posted on the blog. The biggest, most life changing, and significant was the arrival of one Vivian Lane Moll!!!!!

She is absolutely beautiful and has made our family better and more complete. Though I think most parents would say that about their new baby. :-) While she is making life better and more complete, she is also helping to make life a little crazier. (Again I think most parents would say that about their new baby.) Having two is harder then having one. But it is good work rewarded by many hours of cooing and snuggling by the infant and lots of laughter and play by the toddler.

People keep asking how Ella is doing with Vivian. When Ella was born the question was how is the dog doing with the baby. Now everyone wants to know how Ella is doing with a baby sister. The answer is very well. She adores her sister. Some times too much. Vivian has been rescued many times from the love and attention of her big sister. She has also had many disrupted and tortured naps due to all the attention Ella has given her.




But overall, she has received much love from her big sister. Ella genuinely loves her. She just doesn't always know what to do with that love. When she hears her cry or just sees her enjoying the ceiling fan, she will try to give Vivian her paci. And by giving her the paci I mean she tries to shove it in her mouth even when she doesn't want it. She is learning though. Some times it just feels like it is taking a long time. I am sure Vivian feels that way some times.



Ella's new favorite activity is holding her sister. Her greatest joy in a day is to sit on the couch and hold Vivian. Regardless of how long she holds her it is never enough. There are nearly always tears and protests when holding sister is over. Now that Vivian is six weeks old she is beginning to actually look at Ella. She may actually be beginning to recognize her now.



One of the things Ella has taught me since she was born is how little I really knew about her personality when she was born. If you would have asked me what I thought Ella would be like when she was older, I would have told you she would be laid back and easy going. How wrong I was. Ella is anything but laid back and easy going. She is crazy and high energy. This has made me realize what a mystery Vivian really is to us. Right now she is our wildcat. When she is upset she lets us know. He cry sounds a lot like a cat fighting. When she is content though she is a sweet lovey baby. We will have to see what her personality will truly be as she grows ups

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Ella's World

Tomorrow Ella's world will be changing. Tomorrow we will welcome Vivian Lane Moll to our family. Ben and I are very excited. Ella is really clueless. She has no idea how her life is going to change.

Until this point in her life she has not had to share the spotlight with any other child. She has been an only child, the only grandchild, and the only niece to all her aunts and uncle. This week alone she has gained a cousin, Julian R.T. Whitney, on July 4th and will meet her baby sister tomorrow. This will change her world in big ways. We just hope and pray she is ready for all the changes.

Fortunately, she seems to like babies a lot. Whenever she is around a baby she is drawn to him or her and is mostly gentle with them. She also loves to play with her baby dolls. Maybe this new love of baby dolls is a result of Vivian coming. That is our prayer.

Now that our world will include more then just Ella, the blog needs a new name (hopefully this can help me keep it up more). I am not completely sure what the new will be. We may go through a few names to find the perfect one.

Tomorrow it is not only Ella's world that will change. It is also Ben and my own world's that will change too. We will have two girls to care for, love, and nurture. At times that feels very overwhelming. How do we split our time, attention, and love to meet both of their needs? It will definitely require God's grace and guidance to help us through. Fortunately, for us we have lots of people in our life that can help us with this. God has placed us in a community of believers full of great parents and those who are willing to share their experiences and what God has taught them. For that I am grateful.

We will be sure to post pictures of Vivian as soon as we can.

A Poor Man's Disneyland

The last night we were in Finley we of course had to go out to the shop. I ran inside for something and when I returned my mom had put Ella in the cart she has to bring things into the house from the shop. I immediately returned to the house for the camera. By the time I returned the cart had become an amusement park ride. It was hilarious. We were all dying watching my dad run her around the shop in the cart. We said "Who needs Disneyland when you have a shop and cart."

This is video of the last ride.

A Little Bit Country

Some of you may not know it but I was a country girl in my younger years. :-) OK I wasn't a complete country girl. There was always a part of me that wanted to live in the city. Now that I live in the city I love to go home to my roots and I love even more to expose Ella to the country. This past week Ella and I spent a week at my parent's house. I have to say that my girl loved the country. She loved the cattle, the pigs, taking a walk around the property, playing in the shop, driving the boat, going to great-grandma's with her Popas, and so many other things.

Every day we went for a walk. Ella found many exciting and fun things to explore.



This day the steps at the house were absolutely enthralling.



There are more steps on the other side of the house!



Ella's absolute favorite place at grandma and grandpa's was Popas' shop.



Often we would play in the shop after the bath and PJ's. That meant she had to wear her galoshes in the shop which was very fitting for this atmosphere.



The first night we were there Ella went out to the shop with grandpa. When I came out to the shop later I found her in uncle Travis' boat learning about the joys of fishing. Uncle Travis showed her how to make the engine go up and down. When Ella mastered this it was she was very proud of herself and couldn't get enough of making the engine go up and down and up and down and up and down...you get the picture.







She was a pro by our last night there.



Just checking things out.



During the walks Ella also checked out the farm animals. She really enjoyed checking out the steers (one of which is no longer with us but is hanging in the cooler in the shop ;-0), horses, and pigs. I think Ella's favorite animal was the horse. She wanted very much to get really close to them but there was a hot wire between us and them so we only looked from a distance.



For the Whitney's pigs have a been a staple animal in the field for years. We have raised pigs for as long as I can remember. This was Ella's first real introduction to the pigs. At first they were shy and wouldn't come over to visit.



But after calling them for a bit they came to say hi.



Ella enjoyed getting an up close view of the pigs.



Will she be a pig farmer in the future?



While we were in Finley the Super Bowl happened. Every year my dad has a huge party in the shop. Ella had the best time. She was not shy and made many new friends that day. My girl is quick to get comfortable with people. She was flirting with many, playing games with others and just being herself with everyone.



She really enjoyed watching the game with Popas. He also enjoyed it. For some time now Ella has been forming a deep love for my dad. She loves to do any thing with him and hates it when he leaves her sight. She will follow him around and try to help him with whatever he is doing. This love affair began at Christmas and has deepened with every visit. He picked us up and brought us home. After he left she keep going to the door pointing to it and crying. She misses him.



In the evening she would help Popas bring in firewood. The first night she helped, she wouldn't let him stop bringing in wood. By the time he finally called a stop to it he had enough wood for the night and the whole next day. The wood was going down the hallway.





Since she couldn't carry the wood she just showed Popas the way to the stove.

We had a great trip. I loved that she was able to experience the country. There is definitely something special about life in the country. It is quite and slow, which was a good change of pace.